Present: Mothering

According to Henrietta Moore, discourses about gender are powerful because they engender women and men as defined by contrast (Moore, 1994). This can be regarded in how motherhood and fatherhood is in itself gendered. In the case of mothering, several authors have considered it to be as the central perceived role for women in Nicaragua, while the father figure seems to be absent (CEBS and Mary Barreda, 2006;

Hagene, 2006; Johansson, 1999). I also observed this in the focus group discussions.

Motherhood is considered to be the centre of feminine subjectivity in Nicaragua, which implies that having children is one of the ways in which women can find their objective

41 Informally, they would just call them “men” or “clients”.

and meaning in life. This is to say that motherhood would make them be useful and feel complete. Motherhood then represents the ideal femininity and it is encouraged in all aspects of life by different social agents: from family to the State⁴². However, in the case of these life-stories some contradictions will be found and will be analyzed in this part of the chapter.

To start with, neither of them spoke of their children as being the best thing that had happened to them in their lives. This is an issue I wish to come back to in the next chapter. In fact, as I will soon show, Zenobia believes that not considering all facets before having her children is the worst thing that has happened to her in her life.

Gioconda had her first child when she was 14 and even if she does not consider them as

“the worst thing” she does not speak about them in positive ways either. The impression she gives in the interview is that they are a burden for her.

G.- When I had my first child I was 14 years old… my kid is now 13 years… the oldest one… I was a girl because I was 14 years old. I was a mother-girl because being very young I was a mother.

Z.- The worse… not thinking, my God!, that kids would be so expensive, I received many advises and I thought of them as a joke, as a joke… but, and then? How could I get my self into such a big problem?

Having difficulties in raising their children is one of the main concerns in both women’s life stories. In the case of Gioconda, one of her main concerns is money. Before, she worked almost every day, whereas now she can only work on the weekends because she has to take care of her children.

G.- What? Saving? I don’t save anything… I don’t save, what? savings? There in the other house I paid more than here, here I pay less. It was bigger, here it’s really small. Almost 100 (=5$) I spend in food. I buy 2 pounds of rise (=900gr.) for everyday, oil, chlorine for the clothes for them and for me (laughing), one pound of chicken, of beef… it costs 35 the pound (=1.7$).

B.- Could you work more?

G.- I can’t because the children… who can take care of them? When I go out, my mother can take care of them for a bit.

In the case of Zenobia, one of her main concerns is not being able to meet a man. This shows some tensions between her role as a mother, who has to provide and put her

42 We only have to rely on the fact that abortion is illegal in the country, even if it is a rape case, to see how this idea of having children is deeply encouraged.

children’s needs first, against her own needs and dreams. Nevertheless, despite the difficulties, both women hope and expect the best for their children. Gioconda hopes that they will not have a “bad life”, with reference to prostitution or drugadiction.

Zenobia expects to continue working to give her children what they need.

Z.- The oldest one is 15 and the smallest is 6, but… my God, sometimes I say to myself “I have to bear all this, It’s better to be alone”, but not… Just as I get out of my house the first thing that comes into my mind is that I would like to meet someone whom I like and my mind is again confused. And it is not the need of a man, because I feel well with the clients. But I know that because of their age they are suggesting me that and I start analyzing “I cannot leave my children, I cannot leave them alone” I feel sad and come back home and start crying. I can’t, it is a lie… it is a mistake… I go out another day… Everyday I go out full of good hopes, but I always return with the same: I have a no.

The stories of both these women may be in line with the notion of motherhood as central for gender ideas in Nicaraguan society for example in relation to female headed households. However, these life stories also show us how difficult it can be to work on the streets and raise children at the same time. Just as Sophie Day concluded in her study in London, women-who-prostitute have to negotiate between their two bodies: the work body and their social and family body (Day 2006) and therefore negotiate between their roles in spheres of production and re-production (Mooser 1992 in Kabeer, 1994).

When Gioconda had her last son, she had to stop working as much as she did before, so she does not get enough money to feed all her children. If we see this in relation to the 3 roles framework, she had a tension between her reproductive and productive role and she prioritized the first one. To conclude, it seems that it is not only ideologically that being a good mother and being on the streets can be difficult, but in the practice too.

The negotiations between the production sphere and the reproduction sphere produce different notions of womanhood. Some women-who-prostitute –the ones who work and leave their children– seem to relate to the economics and to the productive roles and did not seem to centre their lives directly towards their children; although they would indirectly do it. Whilst, the ones that work less or stop working, as we will see in next chapter, seem to relate to society’s gender norms, to the ideal femininity of being mothers and to take care of their children: so to the re-productive roles.