As outlined above, under the theoretical framework of performance research I position my thesis within the methodology of performative inquiry. Within performative inquiry, I use the research method of auto-narratives to observe and reflect over my practice as well as to generate data. The following section outlines this method and how I have engaged with it in my study.
3.2.1 AUTO-NARRATIVES
While the theoretical framework and the methodology I am using are newer concepts and approaches, my method of auto-narratives is considered to be well-established through the idea of narrative inquiry. An auto-narrative, or personal narrative as defined by Susan Chase
is a distinct form of communication: It is meaning making through the shaping of experience; a way of understanding one’s own and other’s actions; of organizing events, objects, feelings, or thoughts in relation to each other; of connecting and seeing the consequences of actions, events, feelings, or thoughts over time (in the past, present and/or future) (p. 549).
This definition from Chase includes all aspects of auto-narratives, which gives a breadth of both understanding and use. I generated my auto-narratives as logbooks, as well as visual representations of my thoughts and reflections through either illustrations or diagrams. When working with auto-narratives under the methodology of performative inquiry, I use them to help illuminate the micro-moments and help me remember the ‘tugs on my sleeves’ that I felt in the classroom. Though I have chosen personal narratives as my form of inquiry, Fels (2012) explains that performative inquiry does not necessarily offer a method, but is centered on a way of being in embodied inquiry. Performative inquiry invites the researcher to listen and attend to the micro-moments that draws their attention (Fels, 2012). The researcher is then encouraged to responde through dialogue, reflection, a new choice of action, further inquiry or creative expression (Fels, 2012). My choice of reflection and creative expression is the use of auto-narratives as a form of storytelling to report my experiences and findings.
Fels (2012) communicates that performative inquiry can invite a researcher to live in inquiry.
To me, what Fels is encouraging is the ideas of treating research as a creative process. Thus, I chose to use auto-narratives as my form of creative dialogue with myself through this
creative research process. I have performed my teaching, but I have reflected over it through auto-narratives. I have then created new auto-narratives based on logbooks to reveal and report my experience, with my data.
3.2.2 DATA GENERATION
My data generation reflects my creative teaching process and comes from my three reflective logbooks (Teaching Prep, Feelings Before Lessons and After Lessons), which are auto-narrative in their expression. In figure one, I have illustrated my creative teaching process which shows both the stages of my process and where I reflected through my auto-narrative logbooks.
Figure 1: Illustration of my creative reflective teaching process when generating my three auto-narrative logbooks.
My creative process started first by making a plan for each lesson, and then my creative process requires incubation before making a decision. Incubation for me is necessary after planning, allowing my brain to continue working on my plans in the background while I go about other activities, leaving my mind free and open to new insights and opportunities. This phase can also include brainstorming with and/or receiving input and advice from colleagues, classmates, and/or supervisors, which may lead to plan modifications. My first logbook is titled Teaching Prep and it contains my reflections on: how I made my plans, my
expectations and anticipations of the plans, and reflections over any modifications to the plans. This logbook was written at varying times during my process, as insights and ideas could happen at any time.
The second logbook, Feelings Before Lessons, is where I would examine and reflect over how I was feeling the hour before I was going to teach the class. The logbook was either written or orally recorded within an hour before my teachings. I chose to include this reflective logbook to give insight into my mood and what outside of the classroom might have influenced my teaching that day. It was also used as a tool for comparative reflection upon the lessons before and after completion; what were my anticipations, expectations, anxieties, wishes, hopes and how were they realized (according to the After Lessons logbook).
The third logbook was After Lessons, which summarized everything that attracted my attention while I was in the lesson. I would walk the 250m straight to my desk from teaching in the classroom to write everything I retained from the lesson. This logbook would
sometimes take up to six hours to write, depending on what transpired during the lesson, but I never stopped writing until every impression, idea, story, and reflection were recorded. This
logbook proved to be the most substantial of the three, and the most impactful in terms of the data I would use.
I repeated the processes in figure one each of the six times I taught the class. All the lessons happened Thursdays from 13:00-14:30 and were a week apart, except between the 5th and 6th lessons where there was an extra week gap. I ended up with three logbooks for a total of 116 pages of auto-narrative data.