Mother and Son Conflict

In the Oromo indigenous conflict resolution mechanism, the conflict between mother and son can be resolved by siiqqee institution. It is important to clarify what it applies to mean ‘mother’ or

‘son’ in this context. My informant explained that ‘mother’ in this context doesn’t necessarily referrer to only the biological mother. It also includes any woman who is considered as a mother based on her age and role in society. ‘Boy’ refers to any boy in the village. Beating a mother is an offensive action and not tolerated in the Oromo society (Inf6). If a son or man beat his mother, the people say “maraatee dutee haadha rukute [meaning] the boy has gone crazy, he shouted at and beat his mother” (Adem, 2014: 76). Another informant asserted that “the elders often talk such offensive by whistling because it is shame to the community in the son and mother live in” (Inf7).

A son who beats his mother as a mentally unhealthy person (Inf6). Oromo culture “never allow mothers to be violated by being beaten” (Adem, 2014: 76). A son who beats his mother should be corrected in a way that gives lessons to the community (Inf6).

In this kind of conflict, the woman (the mother) who is beaten by the son can call siiqqee screaming. The mother can also tell the neighboring woman that her right is violated and help her to call siiqqee screaming. Tolosa (2011: 290) states that women (siiqqee group) who called iya siiqqee to fight against the violation of mother’s right by her son is called saddeta. Women who hear ululation (siiqqee screaming) pass the message of ululation to other women by screaming to let them know that women’s right is violated. The nature of the conflicts is dramatized using songs and poems. A good example is if a son misbehaves towards his mother.

Intala aayyaa dhageettee? Oduun sigeettee?

Ilma na dhaanee dhageettee? Oduun si geettee?

Baasa na bahee dhageetee? Oduun sigeettee?....

Translation:

My sisters, have you heard? Has information reached you?

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My son has beaten me, have you heard? Has information reached you?

The inconceivable has happened to me, have you heard? Has information reached you? (Adem, 2014: 66-67).

When they arrive at the home of the victim, they call her to join them and continue to ululate and urge the son to admit for his wrongdoing. “If the son attempts to run away or incline to refuse them, the women have the power to destroy or take away his property. He has to admit and accept the sanction women put on him according to the Arsi Oromo customary law” (Inf6). After they arrive at the woman’s home who is a victim of the son’s abuse, they form two groups and sing the following song one couplet or stanza in turn.

Garee A Garee B

Baasoo baasoo Baasoo baasoo Baasa nabahee ilma nadhahee Baasoo baasoo

Baasoo baasoo Baasan gahee mucaan andahee Ateetee simbirree maalii? Simbirree baarii

Simbirree barii hinjirree maalii? Simbirree baarii hinjirree maalii?

Aayyiyyoo arbi cilaaloon bahee Noor ayyyoo…

Cillaffatee na dhahee mucaan an dahee Eee aayyoo….

Elel elel elel elel elel elel Translation

Group A Group B

Inconceivable, inconceivable Inconceivable, inconceivable The inconceivable has happened, my Inconceivable, inconceivable has beaten me

Inconceivable, inconceivable Inconceivable, the son I have given

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birth to has beaten me Atete, birds of dawn Birds of dawn

Birds of dawn, what a surprise is this? Birds of dawn, what a surprise is this?

The elephant has gone up Chilalo Welcome mother

The son I have given birth to hit me violently Yes mother...(Adem, 2014: 67-68) The above song indicates that women are committed to supporting the victim, justice will be served, and appeal to the woman to forgive the son and create mutual understanding with the son.

According to the Arsi Oromo customary law, the son comes and lays in front of the victim and asks for forgiveness. If he fails to apologize, they continue to sing the above song until they resolve the conflict. If he continues to refuse, the women would warn him with the following song.

Song Translation

Ateetee siinqee dhiilgee Atete of red-brown siiqqee Lallaaftuu qoonqoo giingee Soften stuttering throat

Fooyyee na seetee? You think I am weak (Adem, 2014: 68) The song indicates the son’s refusal of his wrong act, escalating the conflict. If he refuses to admit, the case will be reported by women representatives to elders in the community to intervene to handle the issue (Adem, 2014: 68). The elders that the son has tripled the offense: he beat his mother, he refused to ask for an apology, refused women who gather in solidarity to support the victim. Hadha siiqqee express their demand that the son should be punished per customary law.

According to (Inf7), the women urge the elders and the whole community to hear their concerns, voices, and bring the offender to justice. Otherwise, they will not return home. If women stay out for days and nights, their husbands face challenges to take care of the children, the elderly, cattle, so forth. My informants would suggest that this puts massive pressure on men. Thus the elders should urge the offender, that is, the son to admit for his wrong did and restore the victim, the mother (Inf6). After consulting the women councilors and get important information about the processes women (councilors) have been through, and they reach a mutual understanding with the victim and the offender, the elders tell the son what he should pay to restore the mother. When

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they agree to reconcile, the body will prepare daadhi (a local drink made of honey) particularly if he is younger, or poor. If he is an adult, he should slaughter animals (Inf6).