Finding and following one's own path

Besides the issue of masculine identity, the interviewees' narratives suggest the consideration of agency. Identity, the sense of self, informs individual self-expression and actions. In other words, it can be said that the way men act and exercise agency is a manifestation of their masculine identity (see Whitehead 2001: 21). As discussed earlier, the interviewees had adopted a self-identification that encouraged an active, autonomous and goal-oriented way of life.

In the subsequent section, I will discuss how the interviewees expressed a strong desire to define the direction of their lives, as well as demonstrated the ability set goals, make conscious choices and act according to them; in other words, how they exercised agency, and how this related to their draft-avoidance.

5.5.1 Service avoidance as a conscious choice

Exercising agency is about making strategic life choices, setting goals and being able to pursue them (Kabeer 1999; Kabeer 2001). The field narratives demonstrate that for the interviewees, service avoidance had been a conscious choice, which involved careful consideration of different alternatives and opportunity costs. For example, Dima noted that he had seen the military first and

foremost as one of many professions. Choosing one's profession, on the other hand, meant to him choosing a life style, something that he claimed one should do consciously. In his opinion, his

”head worked better than the body”, and, consequently, he saw no reason to serve. The decisive factor had, however, been the estimation that ”I had and have more prospects outside the army”.

Oleg had considered the military as one among many possibilities. However, it was not the option that won. Also for him, life outside the army had appeared to offer better and more attractive possibilities:

I had these thoughts, 15 percent that I could [join the army] because in principle it does give you something. But then I understood that I can get a lot more in the civilian life. Because I knew that those two years I would not be working as a shop assistent.

Also Yurii stated that, in most cases, draft-avoidance was a rational choice: ”The majority of those guys who refuse from military service, they don't refuse because of fear of going there. Most of them have other priorities at that moment.”

According to Misha, if he had been drafted, a plan B would have been implemented. He told that he would have applied for the military language training center, well-known for its high level of foreign language tuition. For a young man who was keen on traveling, had already lived abroad and was interested in foreign cultures and languages, the option had its pros. However, the need to resort to the alternative strategy never arose, and now he had already passed the draft age. Looking back at the years when his future still was uncertain, Misha stated: ”Life could have gone in a totally different way. But I'm glad it went the way I wanted.”

5.5.2 In search of interesting and meaningful life

Furthermore, many of the interviewees talked at length about the importance of being able to devote oneself to something which one truly enjoyed and was good at. Both Misha and Ilya's narratives demonstrate this aspiration well:

I think that a person should occupy himself with what he wants and longs for. I never had an urge towards the army, or military service. (Misha)

Well, I think what is important to achieve is that you will work with or do something which will be interesting for you. […]

Those people are interesting who started the first job but already think about the next one, where and how. They have some kind of a plan in order to live in their own way. To go for what interests them. (Ilya)

Further, Ilya indicated that he disliked the idea of choosing what everyone else chose, in his words, following ”a standard life pattern” with a job, a car and a wedding. In his view, many people lived

”totally without any aspiration to make life interesting. I studied, I have to work, and that's all. […]

And then [many years later] perhaps, they realize that I'm not in the right place”. Finding oneself doing the wrong thing in the wrong place, that is, leading an uninspiring life, was something he hoped would not happen to him. Like Ilya, Oleg underlined the importance of setting goals as a way to self-realization, actualization and achievement. He indicated too that following one's passion was what made life meaningful and satisfying: ”Somebody finds a job, a simple one, is not happy with it, works there, and that's about it. There's no more to it than that. In general, I don't understand what they are living for.”

Joining the army, on the contrary, would have meant accepting an uninspiring path determined by someone else. In other words, compulsory military service stood in stark contradiction with the interviewees' search for a fulfilling life. For example, Yurii had been interested in information technology as long as he could remember. He was very curious about it and enjoyed learning new things: ”It interested me and I simply had to devote myself to it.” Military service would have meant two years away from what he saw as his career, his life path.

Taken together, the field narratives suggest that the interviewees understood the question about military service as closely linked with important life choices. By avoiding the draft, they had thus sought to actively direct their lives into a wanted direction. Further, the narratives above suggest that solving the question about military service can become a significant milestone that encourages or even forces young men to address the following questions: Who am I? What do I want to become? What kind of life do I want to lead? Being able to answer these questions meant that one did not need ready-made answers, like the military. As Oleg stated: ”A person has to have some kind of a passion, and then he simply won't need the army.”

All the interviewees demanded that the choice whether or not to serve should be a personal decision, not dictated by the state. The right to refuse from service was justified with liberal-democratic ideas and values, namely freedom of choice. Moreover, the freedom to choose was not seen merely as a question of saying 'yes' or 'no' to military service. The interviewees connected it to the wider issue of individual's right to decide what kind of a life he wanted to live. In other words, they insisted that everyone should have the possibility to make important decisions and thus determine the direction of his/her own life, and making military service voluntary was part of

guaranteeing that that right was respected. This was particularly exemplified by Yurii in the following terms:

They take you to the military at the age of 18, age of consent. Age of consent doesn't only mean that a person can smoke and drink but that he also has the right of choice, right to vote. He can choose the president. If he can choose a crank like that who rules the country, why can't he make the choice about what he wants? […] After all, our country is still somewhat democratic. […] Everybody makes the choice for himself and, after all, at 18 you can allow yourself to make the right choice.